But these two words actually mean different things and aren’t mutually exclusive.
Let’s break it down.
Mindset is your interpretation of the world, and your thoughts/feelings behind events and other life situations.
We’ve all heard the line, “Do you see your glass as half empty or half full?” This is a representation of mindset and whether or not we interpret things in a positive or negative way.
Do you believe that you are set in your ways and ‘you are who you are’ and there’s no changing that, even your shortcomings? Or, do you perceive things in a way where you see opportunity, where it’s always possible to grow and become a better person?
This is a fixed versus a growth mindset.
Mindset is also how we perceive events. Are you in a victim mindset where the world and bad things always happens
to you? Where there is constantly drama in your life and you are always thrown under the bus by someone else?
Where someone else is always out to get you?
Or are you the type where you realize things happen and the cards fall as they do, but you’re not going to let it stop you from moving forward, growing and making a difference in the world and becoming a better person?
This is a victim versus growth mindset.
Mental Toughness is developing the tools to operate better in the world, become a more resilient human being and as a result create healthier relationships.
Mental toughness can be learned over time. It’s developing tools that will take time to learn, dedication to solidify, and constant practice to maintain. Just like lifting weights in the gym, it takes time to build muscle and consistency to maintain.
These tools include things like
Learning how to set appropriate boundaries in your relationships and with strangers
- Example 1: You have a family member who regularly tries to take advantage of you. They constantly ask for a ride or to borrow your car, ask to borrow money and never pay you back. You know they have a job and they’re always buying new clothes and being irresponsible. If you want to put a stop to your family member always coming to you to bail them out over and over again, it’s your responsibility to learn to say no and define what is and is not acceptable. It’s one thing to help someone out who is in need, it’s a different thing to be taken advantage of constantly.
- Example 2: An aggressive homeless person gets too close to you demanding money, it’s OK to hold out your hand and say, “Stop. That’s far enough.”
- Mental toughness is learning how to self soothe, breathe and calm yourself down so you can see clearly and not make rash decisions. This skill is highly effective especially in tense and stressful situations
- Mental toughness is emotional intelligence. It’s learning to identify the root of your emotions and processing them in a healthy way. Knowing why you’re angry, sad, anxious, etc., and taking steps to heal yourself instead of allowing your emotions to control you and resorting to destructive behaviors such as drugs or alcohol
- Mental toughness is learning to identify what is and is not in your control and responding appropriately.
- Example: Your landlord deciding to sell the house and giving you notice to move out is stressful, yes, but it is out of your control. Working yourself up emotionally about it is only going to hinder you and make the whole process harder. When shit hits the fan, ask yourself what is and is not in your control, and what steps can you take moving forward?
- Mental Toughness is getting out of the “freeze-brain” where we become paralyzed by over-analysis. It’s taking in situations at face value, then deciding what is the best step to take to moving forward.
There is a lot to mindset and mental toughness, and this blog scratches the surface. If you find that you generally have a growth based mindset but you’re interested in learning the tools to develop mental toughness, be sure to join the Alpha Maiden community HERE.
And if you really want to dive into mindset and mental toughness make sure to check out UnBeatable Mind, by Mark Divine and Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. Both books are located on the Reading List tab on the site HERE.
Source: New feed